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| Mitch (adj.): Male B**ch |
DISCLAIMER: The goal of this post is not to male bash in any way, shape or form. I AM NOT A
BITTER MALE BASHER. *Bill Clinton Voice*. I love men. I am a man's woman. Some of my best
friends are men and I was
raised by a very good man. So I am an advocate of the mens if there ever
was one. But this post is not about those men; it's about a particular subset of men. You know, the ones that have way more female traits than male ones. To you young sirs, I do not salute you.
Now, on to the story...
He was tall, dark, handsome...and a grade A Mitch. This was the conclusion I had come to following a particularly bitchy text I'd received from a young man after only one date and subsequently less than a week of "talking".
THE DATE
We decided to meet for brunch at this new French-African Restaurant that I had been dying to go to. A quick hug, some pleasantries, then we were seated and waited to order. As we waited for our food to arrive we began to talk. Off the bat, the conversation had taken a turn for the worse. I began with some general questions about where he went to school and somehow, some way he started talking about his basketball star days in college, and was all too happy to disclose how much females used to (and according to him, still do) throw themselves at him.*GAG*- RED FLAG #1. Trying to make the best of a now annoying situation, I asked him what he did and what some of his goals were. I listened intently as he spoke but as I continued to listen about 25 minutes later, I noticed that not once did he ask what my focus was and he only seemed to show any real interest in my profession or what I did for a living when I mentioned what company I worked for - RED FLAG #2. Finally,we started with the inevitable "So, why are you single" chatter, and the fun officially began. The time came and he asked "so, how long have you been single" and no shame in the truth so I responded very nonchalantly that it had been a little over a year to which he decided to respond (very loudly I might add) "Guess you've been putting your batteries to good use, ha ha!"...WHOA. Now, at this point, I had no choice but to laugh out of sheer shock because I was so taken aback but, seriously dude? It's one thing if we had been talking for a while or had been friendly enough that we were on that kind of joking level; then I could see that definitely being funny at a different time or a different place BUT this sir was not the time. The reality was this was actually our first time having a real conversation and I'm sorry but my sex life is not on the table nor is it any of your business. Say what you will but it was
THE TALK
Over the next few days, aside from being completely turned off from the date (and the inappropriate questions that did not stop upon the conclusion of our date might I had), it was a particularly busy week at work so when he would text I was polite but brief. I definitely didn't have the patience to deal and the more I spoke to him, the more it became abundantly clear that his mitchassness knew no bounds (did I also mention that I later found out he had a child he didn't make too much of an effort to see. I won't go too much into detail about his excuse but Really bro? Really?). Anyway, one particular evening I was at a work event where I had to schmooze with clients which I explained when he called and said I would give him a ring later if it wasn't too late; at which point I had planned to ever so gently inform him that this clearly wasn't going anywhere -- Damn me and my good manners :). Needless to say, I got home super late and just simply texted that I was exhausted and was going to head to bed.
The next morning...
THE TEXT
...I received a 4-part, butt crack of dawn text that went a little something like this:
Him (6AM): wyd and what happened to you last night cuz you couldn't have been at work THAT long
Him (8:24AM): You know, if you weren't going to make an effort you should have just told me. You know how many females would love to be in your position? I put in my time and effort and you couldn't even get @ me? Relationships require a 2 person effort you know. You could call and text too. I don't have time for games and clearly that's what you like. Females always talkin bout they want a good dude then when they find 1 they wanna play immature games. I just hope you remember that the next time you think about dealing with someone...
Me: ...
Him (9AM): Hello???
Me: (radio silence)
Him (9:36AM): So u just not gonna answer?!?!
Me: *Blocked*
I guess he told me, lol...After laughing hysterically at this wing-nut for about 20 minutes straight and of course sharing this lovely tidbit with my girlfriends I continued to ignore any further attempts at communication and went on about my day.
But all jokes aside; later on, that entire nonsensical experience would make me wonder if this is what I have to look forward to if I'm going to date *yikes*. And how many other women had experienced something similar? Had they reacted like me and kept it moving or did they let whatever positive qualities o'boy may have had (if any) overrule his mitchassness level simply because it was "Cuffing season"?
Food for thought.
Anywho, to all the mitches out there; just a few notes:
1. I don't work for you - I personally love confidence in a man but I despise cockiness. You know, the cocky mofos who constantly need to have their egos stroked or do dumb stuff to make you jealous. No Thanks. And if you were expecting someone to fall into that thirst trap or feed your ego, you got the wrong one boo boo
2. Uncle Joey says "Cut. It. Out" - Seriously, cut it out. You're a grown ass man (and entirely too old might I add)
3. And most importantly: FOH (for those of you who don't know what that means, please look it up. Keeping it PG13 out here) - Anyone who knows me, knows my tolerance level for tomfoolery is non-existent. I said it once and I'll say it again, Ain't nobody got time for that
SO ladies, what do you think (men feel free to answer as well) -- Has the bitchassness mitchassness epidemic gotten particularly rampant in recent years OR...#IsItJustMe?
And now for your listening pleasure:
Courtesy of Kevin Hart and the Real Husbands of Hollywood
